All of the cuckolding stereotypes were personified in this recent news story and high profile trial promoted in the New York Post. The young, beautiful Swedish model as Cuckoldress. The married Asian financier and two minute man as cuckold. The black nightclub promoter as black bull. And in the end, the jury decided in favor of the Cuckoldress who won a multi million dollar settlement from the Asian cuckold.
Hanna Bouveng was hired by Benjamin Wey to work for his finance firm in Manhattan. One of Wey’s specialties was to buy out struggling corporations which had already been traded on the stock exchange and sell them to Asian companies looking for a fast track to get on the stock exchange without going through the usual channels. He offered Miss Bouveng a pittance of a salary to serve as his personal assistant, paid the rent on her apartment (over $3K a month plus utilities), but then expected sexual favors from her in return. In the few sexual encounters she had with Wey, he only lasted two minutes. And there were also the stereotypical rumors of Wey being underhung. The sugardaddy cuckold relationship ended when Wey found the black bull nude in her bed and told him to get dressed and leave. Was this because the black stud’s anatomy intimidated him? Wey then fired Bouveng. In any case, and in the legal case, Wey was sued by Bouveng for sexual harassment and won.
Many beautiful young women meet older, successful men for sugardaddy relationships on sugardaddy dating sites such as Seeking Arrangement. However, Miss Bouveng and Mr. Wey met at a party in the Hamptons. Mr. Wey probably would have been better suited at being a real sugardaddy to a younger woman looking for job experience or no job experience if all she wanted were the perks of being a sugarbaby. Most sugardaddy relationship perks typically include some type of sexual arrangement. Though it’s doubtful that Wey wanted to end up a cuckold.
Most cuckolding aficionados who are familiar with cuckoldry and its history are aware of the cuckold horns hand sign. Let’s explore how the hand sign originated. There are various theories about how the two finger sign came to symbolize cuckolding. And how it also signified cuckold humiliation. Some historians feel the sign originated as a symbol of ironic mockery. Horns represented masculinity and virility which a cuckold lacked. Even the essence of horns held magical power in times past. Older or impotent men might have been prescribed a powder of ground buck horns to treat libido issues in the Middle Ages. Hunters noted that various beasts used their horns to rub bark off trees to mark territory. Males who had no horns could not mark or claim their territory including their wives. Another theory purported the sign of the horns signified that the weak cuckold didn’t know that the beast with horns had crept up behind him and stolen his wife. Surprise, your wife has been fucking a more virile male!
What is also interesting about cuckolding history in Europe, the British Isles and Scandinavia, is that the wife who strayed on her husband to have sex with another man, committing infidelity, was not punished. In other cultures, the punishment for infidelity might have been extremely severe, including the sentence of death to the cheating wife. Instead, the fact that a wife strayed from her husband was cause to believe her husband was impotent, unmanly, weak, sterile or a combination thereof. And the man who slept with her was perceived as manly, powerful, virile. Cuckolding structured a male hierarchy. This biological imperative and social practice allowed women to pursue sex with Alpha males. Sex outside the marriage with a superior male served the perpetuation of humanity at a time when life was fragile due to wars, pestilence and disease. A woman who was seeking out an Alpha male for sex and ultimately to mate and bear offspring, was ensuring that the most superior Alpha genes continued.
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Recently, an intriguing article in the New York Observer focused on the fascination with one of the most misunderstood fetishes on the planet, financial domination. Most mainstream media articles shock and mislead readers about findom. Some articles tout the pursuit as bossy, talentless girls looking for easy money. Other articles position greedy financial dominatrices plying their trade by swindling, blackmailing, extorting, etc. Finally, the Observer article titled “Hardcore Money Managers” got it right in an explicit sense. However, what was implicit in the article is that financial domination is a form of cuckolding. Below is a quote from the article where a finsub explains the evolutionary relationship dynamic between Money Domme and money slave:
The relationship of finsub to Financial Domme is essentially cuckold to Cuckoldress. A finsub is a cuckold who recognizes that a Financial Domme is an Alpha Female Cuckoldress. A Cuckoldress finesses beta males to bestow her with cash and gifts. This behavior is what beta males have done in deference to an Alpha Female throughout evolution. The Findom Cuckoldress uses the gifts (examples: clothing, jewelry, heels, vacations) purchased by finsubs to attract or excite her Alpha Male lovers. She can spend the cash to feather her nest or to lure Alpha Males to her bed. All the elements of cuckolding are in play. The Alpha Female reinforces her Alpha Cuckoldress status while enforcing the role of the beta males as cuckolds. Cuckolds are expressly not for mating, they are expected to be providers and to improve the quality of life of superior females. It’s all based on tenets of evolutionary biology. The strongest and most desirable females focus on mating with the strongest and most desirable males. When cuckolds perform their duties, they support the perpetuation of the species at a primal level.
Read the New York Observer financial domination article here
Most cuckolds already know the origination of the term cuckold comes from the cuckoo bird, the bird synonymous with the cuckoo clock. Cuckoo birds have an interesting mating phenomenon that orders the Alpha and beta of the species, both male and female. Alpha cuckoo birds mate with superior Alpha females. Alpha female cuckoo birds reject beta male sexual advances. However, female cuckoo birds will allow beta male cuckoos to help build nests, sit on eggs to keep them warm and feed hatchlings. This especially frees the Alpha female of such time-consuming responsibilities and allows her to resume her sexual availability for Alpha male mating… furthering the perpetuation of the species. In addition, Alpha female cuckoos will sometimes lay their eggs in a lesser female’s nest expecting that female and her beta male cuckoo to raise her feathered flock.
As observers of cuckoo bird behavior, Germans, Swiss and Austrians began fashioning the signature clocks centuries ago. These Europeans also originated the the cuckoo bird’s name from the unique sound of the cuckoo’s bird call. The term cuckold is derived from the cuckoo’s sexual and domestic behavior. Cuckoldry exists in many species as cuckolding is, at its very essence, crucial to the survival of a species. Cuckolding frees up genetically superior members of a species from familial duties, so they can focus on mate selection and actual mating.
It is important for beta males and cuckolds to realize they are not viewed as mating material by females. Nevertheless, cuckolds do have a place in the world, to sustain higher status females who seek superior males for mating and to support these females once they do. Alpha males will literally swoop around spreading their genetic material. It is their purpose. Their purpose is not to be burdened with raising a family or a flock. That burden falls on the cuckoo cuckold.
Orson Welles ad libbed these lines in the classic film, The Third Man (1949). Enjoy.
“In Italy for 30 years under the Borgias, they had warfare, terror, murder, bloodshed. They produced Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci and the Renaissance. In Switzerland they had brotherly love, five hundred years of democracy and peace. And what did that produce? The cuckoo clock.”
In this classic painting dated 1664 by Dutch master and contemporary of Rembrandt, Jan Steen, titled “Celebrating the Birth”, we see cuckolding en tableau. This scene is visually rich with cuckolding imagery. Note the grinning man miming the cuckold sign of the horns above the baby’s head. Interestingly, art historians determined the cuckold hand sign had been painted over during the 19th century. This was likely ordered by a collector or curator who took offense to the cuckolding horns and viewed them as profanity. The painting was restored to its original status only thirty years ago.
The man illustrating the cuckold humiliation is believed to be the artist himself, who inserted his likeness into the painting to add contrasting emphasis to the cuckold, an older man holding the newborn baby. Art scholars believe the baby to be a son. A celebration would traditionally be held to celebrate a male heir. However, this is obviously not the older man’s child, but the child of the man portrayed by the painter. Symbolic elements in the painting reveal more metaphor. The brass bed warmer, conspicuous in the forefront of the painting, signified that coals in the bed warmer were keeping the bed warmed. It denotes a lack of marital sex, that the older husband lost his libido. The wife is not so much a powerful cuckoldress as a resourceful woman with no other options, but to engage in sex with another man, driven to do so by her husband’s impotency in order to produce heirs or offspring.
The older man is holding quite a large purse, which indicates some level of wealth. This wealth has enabled him to attract the younger bride and to provide for her. But the painter has added a few other elements which mock the purported father. Namely that he is wearing an apron and holding a set of keys. Key holding in that time was the duty of the woman of the house, sometimes referred to as the chatelaine in larger households. Wearing an apron is a humiliating emasculation. Other symbolism includes the eggshells on the floor, eggs which had been cracked and used as ingredients to prepare a celebratory feast. The term cracking eggs was an expression for having sex in 17th century Netherlands. Obviously, the girl grabbing the phallic looking limp sausage hanging above the fireplace is strong sexual innuendo. Note her gaze is deliberately directed outward to those viewing the painting, instead of interacting with the family, midwife or other cooks. She wants us to be aware of the sexual farce unfolding before us.
There is a huge uproar over L.A. Clippers owner Donald Sterling’s taped comments to his ex-girlfriend V. about her interactions with black men and the rules he was imposing in regard to how she conduct herself with blacks. The majority of this uproar is purely focused on outrage over his racism. However, just for a moment, consider another viewpoint. Consider that Donald Sterling is not only a racist, but also a cuckold.
Quotes from his tape originally appeared on TMZ.com and I will re-quote one of them to illustrate my point:
“You can sleep with [black people]. You can bring them in, you can do whatever you want. The little I ask you is not to promote it on (Instagram) … and not to bring them to my games.”
Only a cuckold would say this to his girlfriend. Cuckolds often fantasize, as my blog illustrates, about beautiful women having sex with black men. He basically tells V. she can bring BBC studs to the house. A popular cuckolding fantasy embraces sexually dominant Alpha black males coming to a cuckold’s house to have sex with his girlfriend or wife. Sterling asks that V. not Instagram photos of her with black men, including NBA great Magic Johnson and L.A. Dodgers player Matt Kemp (who is mixed race), and to not bring them to “his” games. Clearly, this is a man who doesn’t mind private sexual cuckolding, but wants his public image to be that of a man of power, not that of a weak, inferior cuck. He is clearly territorial over his team and the ownership of his team is strongly tied to his public persona. He does not want his white beta male sexuality to be in question.
I believe for his interracial cuckold fantasy to be upheld, he must perceive V. to be Latina and not black, even though she is mixed race, of both hispanic and black heritage. V. admitted whenever she brought up with Sterling that she was part black, Sterling immediately dismissed it, as if he didn’t want to acknowledge it at all. And in the tape, he told her that she is “supposed to be a delicate white or a delicate Latina girl.” Sterling is apparently delusional over his girlfriend’s true ethnicity. It would ruin his interracial cuckold fantasy for him to see her as anything but white or Latina.
V. Stiviano and the word golddigger are now synonymous in pop culture. Stiviano, nee Vanessa Perez, was gifted nearly 2 million in real estate and luxury vehicles. Plus sources observed she had a credit card that most likely came from Sterling to use to shop till she got dropped. V. lived the high life for 4 years as Sterling’s courtesan. V. claims their relationship was professional and that he was essentially paying her to make public appearances with him. This fact became even more believable given news stories have corroborated rumors that Sterling is suffering from prostate cancer. What older rich man with a few good years left doesn’t want a beautiful girl by his side to enjoy her company? As a billionaire, the gifts he gave V. and her use of his credit card to charge whatever she wished were a mere pittance to him.
Sterling changed his last name from Tokowitz to Sterling, in essence, ashamed to carry a name that alluded to his Jewish heritage. The name Sterling is all about wealth and acquired bling. He is clearly a very insecure man, insecure sexually, insecure ethnically and insecure with his image. He has been known to keep his hair an unflattering shade of brown, eschewing more age-appropriate and less desperate looking naturally grey hair. Perhaps he has a small penis, it wouldn’t surprise me. Perhaps he is no longer virile at age 80 and beyond boner assistance that Viagra could offer. He can “buy” a beautiful and sexy young girlfriend with his money, but he cannot satisfy her sexually. Still, he longs to be aroused in the only still functioning sexual organ he has, his brain. Cuckolding fulfills that.
For his cuckold fantasy to hold its power, V. must not interact with black men in any social settings or be seen with them at his games. He upholds her as a cuckoldress who must be above common interactions with black people. Her only association with black men must be sexual. His racism is evident from his inferences that black people are not to be associated with, that black people are beneath her and beneath him. This is a very antebellum and class-biased attitude toward blacks that acts in ironic counterpoint to permitting V. to have what Sterling perceives to be interracial sex with black men.
ESPN analyst Chris Broussard stated that Sterling’s racism was similar to that of a black slave master. I would agree. Sterling’s view of black men is that they should go out on the court and do as they are enslaved by contract to do. They are not to be mingled with. However, as early interracial sexual fantasies detailed, white women secretly desired sexual trysts with black slaves. Cuckolding in America is deeply ingrained by the perception of the black male’s sexual superiority over the white male. This paradigm is part of American sexual culture and has been for centuries.
It remains to be seen what the fallout of this situation will be for Donald Sterling. I imagine he will be asked to turn in his NBA owner’s “card” and will live the rest of his days in the shadows of the hall of shame.
Coda: In 2011, a guest blogger wrote about Cuckold Psychology on my Cuckoldress blog. Click the link to get a glimpse inside a white cuckold’s mind. Specific elements of his analysis might very well apply to Donald Sterling.