There is a huge uproar over L.A. Clippers owner Donald Sterling’s taped comments to his ex-girlfriend V. about her interactions with black men and the rules he was imposing in regard to how she conduct herself with blacks. The majority of this uproar is purely focused on outrage over his racism. However, just for a moment, consider another viewpoint. Consider that Donald Sterling is not only a racist, but also a cuckold.
Quotes from his tape originally appeared on TMZ.com and I will re-quote one of them to illustrate my point:
“You can sleep with [black people]. You can bring them in, you can do whatever you want. The little I ask you is not to promote it on (Instagram) … and not to bring them to my games.”
Only a cuckold would say this to his girlfriend. Cuckolds often fantasize, as my blog illustrates, about beautiful women having sex with black men. He basically tells V. she can bring BBC studs to the house. A popular cuckolding fantasy embraces sexually dominant Alpha black males coming to a cuckold’s house to have sex with his girlfriend or wife. Sterling asks that V. not Instagram photos of her with black men, including NBA great Magic Johnson and L.A. Dodgers player Matt Kemp (who is mixed race), and to not bring them to “his” games. Clearly, this is a man who doesn’t mind private sexual cuckolding, but wants his public image to be that of a man of power, not that of a weak, inferior cuck. He is clearly territorial over his team and the ownership of his team is strongly tied to his public persona. He does not want his white beta male sexuality to be in question.
I believe for his interracial cuckold fantasy to be upheld, he must perceive V. to be Latina and not black, even though she is mixed race, of both hispanic and black heritage. V. admitted whenever she brought up with Sterling that she was part black, Sterling immediately dismissed it, as if he didn’t want to acknowledge it at all. And in the tape, he told her that she is “supposed to be a delicate white or a delicate Latina girl.” Sterling is apparently delusional over his girlfriend’s true ethnicity. It would ruin his interracial cuckold fantasy for him to see her as anything but white or Latina.
V. Stiviano and the word golddigger are now synonymous in pop culture. Stiviano, nee Vanessa Perez, was gifted nearly 2 million in real estate and luxury vehicles. Plus sources observed she had a credit card that most likely came from Sterling to use to shop till she got dropped. V. lived the high life for 4 years as Sterling’s courtesan. V. claims their relationship was professional and that he was essentially paying her to make public appearances with him. This fact became even more believable given news stories have corroborated rumors that Sterling is suffering from prostate cancer. What older rich man with a few good years left doesn’t want a beautiful girl by his side to enjoy her company? As a billionaire, the gifts he gave V. and her use of his credit card to charge whatever she wished were a mere pittance to him.
Sterling changed his last name from Tokowitz to Sterling, in essence, ashamed to carry a name that alluded to his Jewish heritage. The name Sterling is all about wealth and acquired bling. He is clearly a very insecure man, insecure sexually, insecure ethnically and insecure with his image. He has been known to keep his hair an unflattering shade of brown, eschewing more age-appropriate and less desperate looking naturally grey hair. Perhaps he has a small penis. Perhaps he is no longer virile at age 80 and beyond boner assistance that Viagra could offer. He can “buy” a beautiful and sexy young girlfriend with his money, but he cannot satisfy her sexually. Still, he longs to be aroused in the only still functioning sexual organ he has, his brain. Cuckolding fulfills that.
For his cuckold fantasy to hold its power, V. must not interact with black men in any social settings or be seen with them at his games. He upholds her as a cuckoldress who must be above common interactions with black people. Her only association with black men must be sexual. His racism is evident from his inferences that black people are not to be associated with, that black people are beneath her and beneath him. This is a very antebellum and class-biased attitude toward blacks that acts in ironic counterpoint to permitting V. to have what Sterling perceives to be interracial sex with black men.
ESPN analyst Chris Broussard stated that Sterling’s racism was similar to that of a black slave master. I would agree. Sterling’s view of black men is that they should go out on the court and do as they are enslaved by contract to do. They are not to be mingled with. However, as early interracial sexual fantasies detailed, white women secretly desired sexual trysts with black slaves. Cuckolding in America is deeply ingrained by the perception of the black male’s sexual superiority over the white male. This paradigm is part of American sexual culture and has been for centuries.
It remains to be seen what the fallout of this situation will be for Donald Sterling. I imagine he will be asked to turn in his NBA owner’s “card” and will live the rest of his days in the shadows of the hall of shame.
Coda: In 2011, a guest blogger wrote about Cuckold Psychology on my Cuckoldress blog. Click the link to get a glimpse inside a white cuckold’s mind. Specific elements of his analysis might very well apply to Donald Sterling.
